🎯I. The Diagnosis
Bullseye on your thigh—
not from cave, but tick's love bite.
Lyme disease declares.
🦟II. The Culprit
Tiny tick latched on
while you walked through woods above.
Underwater? Nope.
💊III. The Treatment
Doxy twice daily—
one hundred milligrams please.
Ten days, done and dusted.
🚨IV. The Drama
Face droop? Heart goes wonky?
Evacuate like your butt's
made of dynamite.
💩V. The Absurdity
Cave has bat poop funk,
rat pee leptospiral soup—
but tick? Tick's the dick.
🛒VI. Maximum Fruitiness
Your leg is Target,
bullseye screaming "SALE ON LYME!"
Doxycycline goes *brrrrr*.
🧛VII. Transcendent Fruit
Spelunking vampire
forgot the real bloodsucker
vibes outside the cave.